Tug

Aaaahhhhhh,
It's here again, that funny tug, that smile that comes with a lump in my throat.  A lump that grows from the ache in my heart as I get to watch Oliver step into little boyhood.

getting ready for Open House!

This past year, Oliver didn't go to Mother's morning out or preschool, he just stayed with me. We took walk after walk in the "whistling woods" by the "rushing river", threw countless rocks and floated stick boats.  We built train tracks and castles and came up with inventions of all sorts (most revolving around some sort of crane-like contraption).  We ran errands, went to doctor appointments, baked in the kitchen, decorated the house for made-up parties about every. other. day. And we perhaps did a little too much sewing at times.
We did life.
And I know that it sounds ridiculous to think that Oliver going to school two days a week is going to be some earth shattering event, but it is.  For me.
The thing is, I don't mind having that sweet boy with me.  It certainly gets draining at times, to always be answering questions or disciplining in love or coming up with something to eat (what's so wrong with cereal for all 3 meals?!).  But I love it.
Before Eric and I had Oliver, I actually remember having the realization that I was excited for all the mess of motherhood.  Of course I didn't really know what it would look like for our family and how it would feel maybe, but I knew, I just knew that I was ready and excited for the tough parts, the tough days or months or years.
Maybe it was having some experience working in early childhood classrooms,  teaching children that had far from any ideal situation at home. Maybe it was just kind of my personality.  Maybe it was a whole slew of things.  I do know that I never had any picture in my head of how it was going to go, no big expectations.  I didn't read a whole lot (only on cloth diapering, I researched the mess out of diapers), and I was completely unaware of the supermom-blogging world (even though I had a blog) and so I entered motherhood rather happily.
Tired, very tired and perhaps at times emotional, but happy.
And so this BIG, BIG gift weighing 8 pounds and 1 ounce was given to me.  And I was happy and excited and nervous and proud.  And on Thursday, my sweet boy, my little man, my golden little boy will be off to school--happy, excited, nervous and proud!

sharpening some new pencils!

writing fancy in his new notebook

"writing like daddy at work"