A Stirring

Spirit stirrings and thoughts simmering is how I would describe myself in this most recent season.
For a couple of years my thoughts have been of the here and now; of Eric's health, of Oliver, of my own comfort or discomfort (read: pity parties). But now, a couple months out from the storm, the winds that brought uncertainty, sadness and anger have blown themselves out. I feel a newness and an eagerness for each day that I have not even desired in the past couple of years. The winds that tossed me about, from seeing Eric's body exhausted and in pain to holding our sweet golden little boy, have abated. And with eyes that only our Lord can give I can see His hands beneath us, through the storms, carrying our ship of hearts, setting us on a better course. A course that is set with our King as the wind in our sails and not the gusty, forever changing winds of this world.
Part of me wishes that our years looked tidy, pretty, perhaps even mature. But then I see the gift I have been given, the beautiful gift of endurance.
I am humbled and amazed that the Lord gave me faith to endure.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-8

The peace that was the undercurrent of the past couple of years was God's peace; I felt it in the hospitals, I know it when I am awakened by Eric seizing, I know it jobless and searching. It is a peace that I am not abandoned.

And so, I am stirring. I am stirring to know more of God's power and more of His people, more of His will and where He will take me.

And now I close with the chorus of a praise song by Hillsong:

We have found our hope
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the one who loves
He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us









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